In order to see how well I fared on the Beat the Blues program, and whether I needed further therapy, I was interviewed by a counsellor.
After the assessment she advised me to have further counselling. She felt I had unexpressed anger towards Jon and this was contributing to my depression. I told her that Kathryn had had counselling not long after Jon’s arrest, and the counsellor told her to express her anger by writing down all her thoughts. This was an exercise to help her, but if she wanted to send what she had written to Jon, she should. The counsellor advised her to ask Jon first, if he wanted to know. He did, and Kathryn sent the pages of sorrow to him. Later she showed me what she had written. Her anger towards Jon was mostly because of what his recklessness had done to us. She was angry that we should suffer so much for his misdeeds at a time of our life when we should be starting to take things easy. She said she felt better when she had written it, and better still when she sent it to her brother.
I have never expressed my anger to him directly. After his arrest Jon’s situation was dire. How could I increase the pain of someone who was suffering in Arpaio’s cockroach infested jails? My instinct was to support and protect him.
The counsellor warned that if I didn’t express my anger, it would be bubbling under the surface and could erupt when he is released, causing problems in our relationship. When I got home I tried to write something down, but it wouldn’t come. What is the point now? He knows what he has put us through and he is sorry. What else is there to say?
Perhaps I’ll sneak up on him one day while he's blogging, and hit him over the head with the frying pan.
Copyright © 2007 Barbara Attwood
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6 comments:
hit who?
Not a bad idea, me next!
Dan
LOL!! That is very funny.
LOLOL LMAO
That was hilarious. I didn't even see it coming!
HA! I have a family member serving time right now, and I know what you mean. That is indeed funny!
having been in Jons place and knowing what it did to my parents, and having to work through years of my Moms anger, which she constintly denied until a year ago let me offer a word of advice. Its ok to be angry with him, he expects it, your relationship with him once he is home will be difrent but thats ok just dont hold it all in until you blow up and get out the frying pan LOL! Trust me he knows you love him and we can only really be angry with those we love and care about.....I hope you keep writing you have given me insight into my Moms pain. Thank you
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