Thursday 28 June 2007

CBT last session

Doreen greeted me in her usual friendly manner.
“Last time you were feeling very down. Do you feel better?”
“ Yes. Since seeing my GP and getting signed off work, some of the stress has lifted and I’ve felt better.”
“What have you been doing?”
I’ve been trying to relax, sit in the garden, (in-between showers) do more Tai Chi and meditation, and generally try to chill out.”
“Good. Have you been successful?"
“To a certain extent, but I’ve still got worries about Jon’s release.”
“It’s only natural. You’re his mum.” We discussed my fears and how I’d deal with the worst-case scenario, but the pain is still there and won’t go until he’s back home.
“His relationships are another thing that worries me,” I said. “He seems to get involved with the wrong type of women. I’m not saying the women are always to blame. Some of them have been very nice. And if it keeps happening to him, he must share the responsibility. His ex-partners were all very good looking and this is what seems to attract him. Which is fine. You need to be physically attracted to your partner, but a long term relationship needs to be based on more than sex.”
“How old is he?”
“Thirty-nine.”
“He may have different values now that he’s older, especially after his prison experience.”
“I hope so. But I’m afraid that after five and a half years abstinence, he may be rampant,” I said trying to make a joke of things.
“Well if he is there’s not a lot you can do to stop him,” she said smiling back at me. “He’s a grown man.”
“If he’s not careful he’ll end up paying the CSA for eighteen years for a one night stand. It’s happened to a few men I know. I’d love more grandchildren, but not like that. Men eh!”

Doreen told me about her only son who has been married and had similar women troubles. A bit of reverse counselling, a great deal of laughter and a few sexist remarks made both of us see the humour in our situation. She asked me to fill in an Anxiety/Depression questionnaire. My anxiety score had gone down slightly from my first visit.

"Kathryn is home at the weekend with the bridesmaids," I said. "They’re having their dresses fitted, so I’m excited about that. I'll get to see the wedding dress again. I can't wait."

“Enjoy your weekend. Good luck with the wedding," she said hugging me. "And I sincerely hope that everything goes well with Jon’s release and that you have a wonderful family Christmas together.”

She gave me her card and said I could see her privately if I needed to.

Copyright © 2007 Barbara Attwood

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